There was a crooked man

There was a crooked man

Posted on March 3, 2012 by Yenti

There was a crooked man,
he walked a crooked mile,
He found a crooked sixpence
upon a crooked stile.
He bought a crooked cat,
which caught a crooked mouse.
And they all lived together
in a little crooked house:-

Rewrite

Hey man found this twisted dude
He told me a story how he staggered a mile
I just curled up and had to laugh
Then he cracked me up telling me
He found this shiny bent coin
Left on a twisted sort of style
I thought take a break man

Rest awhile this is just to much
Then listen this is where it runs away
He went to the Cat pound with the coin
All they would let him have for that
Was a broken cat with a twisted smile
It just gets better so hold on there
He told me it caught a mouse

This mouse he said so crooked it coiled
Here’s where he really cracked me up
He told me that they are living together
In a house that was so twisted
Its chimney touched the ground
I told the dude to go home and sober up.

Muddled fairy tales “For Humour Workshop”

Muddled fairy tales “For Humour Workshop”

Submitted by Ian.T on Fri, 2015-01-09 08:55

Little red Riding hood

She is as cross as ten snakes.
Some tool wielding dwarfs,
Dug up her Grans garden
Even broke the gate.

They gave a short story
They were looking for Diamonds.
She gave them an apple each.
That went straight to their heads

Put head to toe in her small bed.
She snuggled up in the big bed.
There falling to sleep.
Later she was awoken.

Standing there were three bears,
Complaining that it wasn’t fair
She was in the wrong story that was clear.
To hell with this she said.

Setting her big toothed Gran on them,
The three bears ran for shelter
Picking a small house made of straw
This a stupid mistake by them all.

Big toothed Gran blew it down,
So they ran to one made of sticks.
Wolfy Gran was up to her tricks
Gran she just blew it to pieces.

Off they went across a rickety bridge
Great Big Billy Goats house.
This one was made of bricks.
The big toothed Gran was about to blow.

When, a sweet white rabbit ran down a hole.
It had a pocket watch in its hand.
(Contradiction pocket watch ,hand??)
He was muttering about being late,

As Gran was hungry she gave chase,
Chasing him through the town
Upstairs and down stairs.
All this in her night gown.

I transgress I is in the wrong tale.
I is just a liddle lost Sheeps
Where are you Bo!

Interlude

The world went quiet
Love came out to play
The great Elf fell off his seat
Peeping out from his retreat

The others were heard to say
Come out of there and with us play
We need you to help us so
Even you make our lives just go

Snow white came in and told us
With her wonderful dwarfs
How her life would be
A grumpy one to make her blue

Doc’s treat’s stopped her blushes
Only Happy cheered her on
Then those bed time blushes
From Bashful’s sweet song

As Sleepy slept far too long
Dopey started by playing the fool
Some powder into the air did throw
This set Sneezy off, doing what we know

Snow White told us softly
Her life was so gentle, so lovely
Around her ones that did care
With you I thought this to share..

“There Was a Crooked Man”

“There Was a Crooked Man”

 

Hey man found this twisted dude

He told me a story how he staggered a mile

I just curled up and had to smile

Then he cracked me up, nothing rude. (ABBA)

 

He found this shiny sixpence

Left on a twisted sort of style

Take a break man have patience

This is just too much, rest awhile (ABAB)

 

Then listen this is where it runs away

To the Cat pound he went that day

All they would let him have for that

With a twisted smile, was a broken cat. (AABB)

 

It just gets better so hold on there

It caught a mouse with a twisted stare

This mouse was so crooked it was in a coil

Here he really made my blood boil (AABB)

 

He told me that they are living together

In a house that was so twisted

Its chimney was held with a tether

Front door at the back when I visited (ABAB)

 

I told the dude to go home and sober up. (A man)