There was a crooked man

There was a crooked man and he walked a crooked mile,
He found a crooked sixpence upon a crooked stile.
He bought a crooked cat, which caught a crooked mouse.
And they all lived together in a little crooked house
Hey man found this twisted dude
He told me a story how he staggered a mile
I just curled up and had to laugh
Then he cracked me up telling me

He found this shiny bent coin
Left on a twisted sort of style
I thought take a break man
Rest awhile this is just to much

Then listen this is where it runs away
He went to the Cat pound with the coin
All they would let him have for that
Was a broken cat with a twisted smile

It just gets better so hold on there
He told me it caught a mouse
This mouse he said so crooked it coiled
Here’s where he really cracked me up

He told me that they are living together
In a house that was so twisted
Its chimney touched the ground
I told the dude to go home and sober up

Flipity Flop The Frog

Now I expect that you have all heard, many stories of all types of animals,
Coming from all over the world.
You hear them on the radio, or see them on the television, then if you are really lucky.
Your Mother or Father may know a few stories to whisper to you lying snugly in bed.
Listen now and I will try to tell you this story, as told to me by the wise old owl.
Just a few miles from here, there is a small pond, which the creatures there call Silver Sides.
This name came from long ago, when one night as the Moon soared into the sky
It made the pond glow with a beautiful silver light
The creatures that night just called it Silver Sides and the name stayed
There was at Silver Sides a few years ago a family of frogs
There was Mother and father then lots of baby frogs, only they knew how many.
All the baby frogs except one would spend their days there hoping around.
Hop, hop, and hop all day they would go from lily pad to lily pad.
They would have a lovely, time playing, tag and of course the favourite game leap frog.
Sometimes one of them would miss the lily pad, and then there would be a large splash
Followed of course by lots of Froggy laughter
I hear you say why was one of the frogs not playing with the rest in their games.
I asked the Wise Owl the same question; his voice took on a softer note.
He sounded a little sadder than usual
Then carried on to tell me of the other little frog
He said when the frogs were playing you could hear the reason for this.
There was hop, hop, hop, hop, flipity flop, hop, hop, hop, hop, flipity flop
Which as you can guess was the other little frog trying to join in the fun.
He became known as Flipity Flop, as he had shorter legs and bigger feet than the other frogs.
When he tried to jump from one lily pad to the next, he went flipity flop
The flipity noise of the water as it caught his feet
Then the loud flop as he landed on the next lily pad
Flipity flop, flipity flop he would go.
Flipity flop would always mess up the fun for the other frogs.
His brothers and sisters would ask him not to play as it spoilt their games
Flipity was very sad watching his brothers and sisters having so much fun
He would watch them play, thinking of better things to do, if only he could
Flipity became use to sitting there alone all day
Before he had become use to it you would see the odd tear
Roll down his cheeks, plop it would go in the water
He would look around with his big eyes as if it hadn’t happened
Some days he would even try to hop over the pond when his family was away
He would try a few hops but as usual that silly noise would come, flipity flop
In the end Flipity gave up trying, and would sit in peace watching the others
One day as He was sitting there watching the others and thinking
Thinking of all the things he wanted to do
What was that, his blood ran cold, he was afraid.
On the far side of the pond just sliding into the water
Was the greatest enemy the frogs had, and feared by all?
It was the large water snake that lived at Brackens pond
His mother and father had told him about this creature
Flipitys family were all playing, so they did not hear or see the snake
It was swimming towards them, where by flipity let out a squeaky croak of Snake
He dashed across the pond to help his family
Flipity made such a racket going across the pond that his family
All jumped out of the pond to get out of his way
The noise flipity splash flop, flipity flop splash as he went was so loud
Even the snake that usually feared nothing, fled in fear of the noise.
They say he hasn’t even been seen at Brackens pond since either.
The tale of a monster that attacks snakes at Silver Sides is heard
But who would know??
Well children, for the rest of the day, and ever after Flipitys family.
Said that Flipity could play whenever he wanted to
This made Flipity feel really needed and he spent many days with them
He would sit on his favourite lily pad mostly thinking and became very wise indeed
He is, as you would guess one of the wisest frogs there is
He usually plays with his family on very hot days
As he always splashes them with water as he goes
Flipity flop, flipity flop across the pond at Silver Sides

Yenti PS:- As Jayne likes Frogs thought this old story of mine would be a comfort to her, maybe it could be read to some of the younger children !!!!??